Infinite Nourishment

How do I hold my center in the midst of chaos?

Uncategorized - 1 year ago - sharon

Welcome to my first blog. Thanks for coming along for the ride…… It has been a testy month with my son being in and out of hospital. As a health consultant and mother I feel somewhat responsible for making sure that my son’s health is as optimum as possible. The more his body is challenged the more I feel helpless. I have been holding it together very well going about my days seeing clients and taking care of myself and my family. I know that if I do not take care of myself first, I will be useless to everyone else. Who decided that was selfish anyways? I feel like I am on a roller-coaster ride. When I am on my way up, I have a chance to catch my breath, come into the moment and focus on dealing with what is in front of me now. When I am racing downhill it seems somewhat more difficult to hold my center. Breath is shallow, heart racer a little faster and my mind is scattered. Where is the ground? Today my son is in the hospital with his Dad and I sit here wondering, thinking sad thoughts. My emotions engulf me and the tears begin to flow. Tears I have held back all month just handling what I needed to to be responsible in each moment. Many of our friends and family members called today to see how my son was doing. Each time I answered the phone I relived the emotions and tears began to flow once more accompanied by deep belly sobs. Relief, fatigue, exhaustion, want to rest, rejuvenate, regroup, be calm, and feel safe. Emotions began to flow through me instead of being stuck in me. I had allowed an incredible release to take place. My whole being surrendered to what was and relaxed into the fetal position that felt just as safe as in the womb. I discovered an incredible sense of trust in something greater than myself in that letting go moment. There is clearly a larger picture to what is showing up in our lives and we cannot see the whole only some of its parts. Surrender and trust are the whispers that come to me. I sit here in meditation knowing that it is important for me to keep walking my talk. How easy it is to take care of myself at the best of times-eating well, exercising, meditating and resting, but what about in these tough times. I know this is the easiest way through the eye of the needle and so I intend to take charge of my mind one moment at a time. Some moments are easier than others. Breathe I tell myself, deep into my belly. I need oxygen more that ever after many sobs and shallow breaths. I stop to quiet my mind so that I can hear the voice of higher guidance-this is a little tougher as my thoughts wonder to scary places. Let go, let go I tell myself. with great compassion. I know that I need to nourish myself and family well-I do the best I can with the energy I have each day. I know that great food equals great healing. It is time to sleep. I wish for a restful sleep for us all so that healing can occur-The angel prayers that we recite before bed are so calming, relaxing and remind us that we are not alone. Gratitude moves me as I think of all the wonderful souls who ongoingly send their love and prayers to our family. Focusing on the blessings keeps me out of the dark places in my mind. So how do I keep my center in the midst of chaos? By nourishing my cells with healthy foods, nourishing my mind with healthy thoughts, surrendering and trusting in all of life’s beauty and guidance, and allowing myself to be where I’m at, all ONE MOMENT AT A TIME!